Well, I’m just going to be totally honest and just state what’s on my mind. I’ve decided to try and start a blog in regards to creating art, and more specifically digital art. I wanted to start it as a personal 2019 resolution but I seemed to lack the courage to actually put myself to it. I am not really one to express myself through writing so I will try my best.
For a long while, I’ve always wanted to be a concept artist but things were complicated. I was born with a muscle-wasting disorder which refrained from going to a traditional art school. I didn‘t let that stop me from doing something else that was art related. Next best option was digital art. The studies were focused on multimedia, which incorporated everything from graphic design to webdesign to video editing. In all, I went though 3 years of studies and finished in 2015. After finishing though, I decided to take a "little" break till the end of summer or so.
That break continued on till early 2018. I had lost the quite a bit of motivation due to many things, primarily my health. I did two or three projects for family and friends but nothing out of my own ambition. I had the time but chose not to use it wisely. It was a tough period and I just went with it...I had submitted myself to my ego.
In early 2018, as a result of different events that started in late 2017, I wanted to change something. I was getting more and more frustrated with myself. As I saw people move on with their lives, it made me want to move on aswell. There was a costume design contest to create an outfit for an online game (Black Desert Online) and my brother convinced me to try making a submission. Funny thing is it was a bit late and I did not submit in time. I finished it and sent it anyway. That was the first thing I had drawn in a very long time.
I started drawing more and more and frankly it felt good. I opened a Deviantart account and started posting there in spring 2018. I realized that even with just a mouse and access to a small area of my keyboard, I could do it. That was the only option I had since I didn‘t have the upper body strength to use a stylus/tablet. Creating photo-manipulations obviously doesn’t require a stylus but for drawing it would have been so much easier to use a tablet. That line of thinking though, imagining all the what-ifs and what-nots and "that would be easier" didn’t get me anywhere. I just had to find a solution to my problems. One was finding a mouse stabilizer since Photoshop doesn’t have one integrated. I used a software called Silkyshark (https://github.com/stoicshark/silkyshark) which enabled me to draw better. I used Illustrator sometimes aswell, but that one has an integrated feature for lines. With that, I focused mainly on drawing portraits but also practicing on drawing other features (basic human anatomy, animals, etc).
Eventually, I discovered Artstation and started posting here. I also started sharing my work on my personal Facebook and Instagram.
With the start of all that, I managed to turn things around and motivate myself to do what I thought I couldn’t do anymore and not sit in my hole of self-pity. I still had other issues to address, especially in regards to expressing myself and the way of thinking I had developed over the years. Will detail that part for the next post.
Thanks for reading!